The Order of the Hen
by AprilGrey
Summary: It's close to the end of Snape's first year as a professor at Hogwarts and he needs to relax. It's fluff with Snape and Hooch. Complete.


The Order of the Hen

AN:  This is a sequel to "Eyes Soft with Sorrow" which is over on AdultFanFiction.net because it's NC-17.  This story is PG-13 (maybe R for language) and should be fine to be posted here.

Events take place almost a decade before Harry Potter comes to Hogwarts.

***

I'd definitely had better days, and it was a great relief to finally be back in my dungeon rooms sitting with the latest potions journal.  Of course, I would have to be interrupted by a knock on the door, that is what my life is all about.

Hooch stood outside the door looking sheepish, a no mean feat for a woman who exemplifies Griffindor brashness.  "And what can I do for you this evening, Madam Hooch?"

"Hmm, Severus, it seems you've been holding out on Poppy."  She walked right under my outstretched arm and into my rooms, looking around with curiosity.  "Not bad digs.  Much bigger than mine, of course."

"Okay, Hooch, out with it."

She tossed me two books.

"The Idiot's Guide to Shiatsu and Reflexology for Dummies – Wizards Edition?"  I handed them back to her.  "Hooch what is this about?"

"I swear Severus, I get no respect at this school.  A dog's body, that's all I am to them.   Why didn't you go to Poppy when you developed the bleeding ulcer?  Now they've got me involved.  Damn it!"  I internally winced as she threw down the books on the floor and then threw herself down on my couch.  I knew I was in for it.

"Who are **they**?"

"McGonagal, Sprout, Trelawney, for the Sake of the White Goddess she only has a couple of months seniority on me, Pince, Poppy.  You know the distaff side of the faculty.  They had me in and drew lots, as if I didn't know McGonagal rigs this sort of thing.  And I, as usual, got the short end.  Severus, it's not fair."

I sat down next to the woman who since I had returned to Hogwarts last summer had been my friend through default.  All of the rest of the staff, except Dumbledore, treated me like I was a time bomb ready to go off.  Unfortunately, Hooch and I had gotten off on the wrong foot with a mindless shag, and we'd been cautious with each other since then.  It was my first year as a Professor at Hogwarts and I was on my best behavior.  Not that it had been much good, my work with the students had been nothing less than an exercise in futility and frustration.

"How did they know that…."

"Well, are you puking blood or aren't you?"

"It's none of your business…"

"Welcome to the fishbowl, Severus.  I have no idea how they found out.  I suspect it's those damnable house elves.  I don't trust 'em.  I do my own cleaning.  I didn't need such creatures growning up and I don't need them now.  Wizards are such a lazy lot."

I smiled and shook my head.  This was one of her favorite rants with students and staff.  I could tell she was feeling better.

Hooch returned my smile and flexed her hands.  "All right.  I've been sent here to give you a pressure point massage, your choice, full body or feet.  So, let's get down to it."

I sat down on the couch next to her and kicked off my shoes and socks.  This might be fun.  "Umm.  Would you like some wine?  One of the parents of my students in Slytherin sent me a bottle of Black Magic Merlot.  I can't join you, of course, but you're welcome to have some.

Her intense hawk eyes met mine with speculation.  "Severus, you know I don't drink anything stronger than butterbeer."  She stood up and transformed a pillow into a footstool.  She sat down on it facing me and began to open one of the books.  "All righty now, the anti-phew spell is on page 39."

"Don't bother."  I pointed my wand at my feet and did a quick cleansing spell.

"Thanks for being so cooperative.  I have to admit I'm rather surprised that you're going along with all this nonsense."

"I rather suspect that if I didn't I'd be faced with Sprout or maybe Hagrid giving the massage."

Hooch's golden eyes crinkled as she chuckled.  "Not Sprout, or you'd have to watch your back for the next few years.  Don't forget that Filch has a thing for her and he's crazy jealous."

"Right.  I do rather want to forget that image, Gods, Sprout and Filch."

Hooch took out a vial of her pocket and spilled out some oil from it, sweet almond by the smell, into her hands.  "Okay, here goes.  Honestly, you'd probably be better off with a snogging and a shag.  I'm not good at these things."  She indicated the books next to her.

I gave her my smarmiest grin, "Making me an offer, Hooch?"

She stuck out her tongue at me while taking my left foot.  "Are you still determined on that celibacy thing of yours?"

I felt rather taken aback.  I didn't think she'd remember that particular conversation we'd had.  It had been late at night at the Leaky Cauldron after a faculty party had broken up, and although I wasn't drinking, my guard had been down.  It had been stupid of me to mention it, but then again, somehow she had that effect on me.

"It's only fair, Hooch, that I don't get involved with anyone.  I have nothing to offer in a relationship.  I've messed up my life royally.   If I were to date any woman, it would be an open invitation to disaster."

"Right, the Death Eaters are under the bed and will swoop out and destroy anyone you get involved with."

I felt my temper start to flare and pulled my foot from her hand.  "Don't mock me.  It's a very real threat.  I gave testimony against almost 30 death eaters and only half are in Azkaban.  The rest are out there and free to do whatever they wish.  Some of them are very suspicious of my loyalties.  And some of them have children here at Hogwarts who would peach on me the moment I showed an interest in anyone."

Hooch looked pale, "You really mean it."

"Of course."

"Well…"

"Well, what?"

"I thought, just maybe the reason you told me that you were worried about retaliation was because you wanted to let me down easy.  You know, after that night we had.  I mean, you're a pure blood and there's only one thing they hate worse that a mudblood and that's a half blood like me.  I thought maybe you'd regretted what happened."

I felt hurt, but leaned forward anyway and stroked her cheek.  "No Xiamara, never.  It was a wonderful night, but it's too dangerous."

Hooch pulled away.  "Don't ever call me that."

"What, your first name? Why ever not?"

"I'm superstitious about it.  Everyone who ever called me that is dead.  I went by Hooch here at Hogwarts and, of course, they're all safe."  Her eyes were hard and shiny with unshed tears.  She shivered involuntarily.  "So you mean it about the Death Eaters still being a threat and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is going to return.

I nodded.  She nodded.  "Give me your other foot."

She trembled again and I went and poured her a glass of wine.  "Here, try to relax."

She laughed.  It had a warm rich sound.  "You know I'm supposed to be the one here getting you to relax."  She picked up my right foot and began massaging again, referring to the diagrams once or twice.  It was a good thing that I wasn't ticklish there. 

"You know, Severus, I've thought about entering Auror training."  She sipped the wine and then started to rotate my ankle.  That actually felt good.  I sighed and leaned back.

"Bad idea, Hooch.  They are all hopeless nutters.  The training alone makes them crazy.  No one should practice undergoing hexes, Imperios and Crutiatus.  It's just stupid."

"How else can one train?"

"One can't.  There is no defense, you just have to have luck and common sense."

"Well, thank you for the advice.  Knowing the source, it's most helpful."

She was laughing, but the bitterness rang out.

"Hooch, I can apologize every moment of every day, it's not going to bring your relatives back."  Dumbledore had warned me once that she had lost not just immediate family members, but her entire extended family to Death Eater raids.  Hooch was one of the walking wounded and perhaps that was why I felt so drawn to her.  We understood each other, even though we were from different sides of the fence.

"Oh don't get yer knickers in a twist.  I know you're one of the good guys.  It's just that the pain won't go away.  I'm sorry."  She was trying to make light of it all, but her voice again betrayed her.  I reached out and took her hands.

"No, I am.  Look here, let me do you now."

Hooch did a double take.  "You mean it?"

"Sure, get on the bed, full body massage."  

She got up and kissed me lightly on the lips.  I worked hard not to respond.

"Clothes on or off?"

"Let's start with them on, and we'll go from there."  I wasn't sure what I wanted, but it just didn't seem right for us to have sex, no matter how much I felt for her.  I wanted to rip all her clothes off and devour her, but there was always the fear that if I let myself go, there would be severe and possibly fatal consequences down the road.

She lay down on my bed and I crouched over her.

"Careful of the spine."

"I know, you broke it in five different places your last year of profession Quidditch."

"Hey, you never told me you were a fan?  Were you?"

I gathered up her long dark hair revealing her neck.  I then grasped her shoulders and gently squeezed and released, until I felt the tension there lessen.  "I used to sneak out from Hogwarts on my broom whenever you played nearby.  I loved to watch you play."

"Well, thanks.  I have to admit you've been much nicer about it that most of my fans.  Usually I'm bored to tears from the blow-by-blow recounts of my successes and failures in the league.  I appreciate your reserve." 

I whispered "Not at all," in her ear and continued down her back gently massaging the muscles and avoiding her much-abused spine.

She gave out a deep sigh.  "You know that they have it all wrong about you.  You're really quite decent, all things considered."

"Yes, I know, Hooch."

"Honestly.  Poppy didn't want me to come down here.  She thinks you're going to murder us all in our sleep.  And McGonagal and Pince feel the same way, but they don't have the courage to out and say it."

"And what about Trelawney and Sprout?  Do they think the bad old ex-Death Eater is going to come after them?"  I massaged down her arms and thought about putting my hands under her sweater.  It would be so wonderful to touch her naked flesh.

"Oooooh," moaned Hooch.  "Well, they could only hope you would.  After all you are the only male staff member under 50 here at Hogwarts.  By the Goddess, yer not even 30 yet."

" 26.  So that's how it is."  I was going to need a very cold shower soon.  "You girls all sit around and discuss my attributes?  The Order of the Hen.  Cluck.  Cluck"

Hooch took another sip of wine.  "What's the Order of the Hen?"

"When Dumbledore became aware of the risk the Dark Lord was beginning to pose to the wizarding world, he brought together other concerned wizards and witches to investigate the problem and be prepared to take action.  It's called the Order of the Phoenix."

Hooch lifted herself to face me.  "I got you.  So you are like He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.  And we women are all keeping our eye on you.  Very clever.  And you are very dark and dangerous.  Just the thing of fantasies."

I stopped.  I took a very deep breath.  "Okay, massage over."

Hooch's eyes traveled to where there was an indisputable tent in my trousers.

"I'm sorry.  You really do fancy being talked about."

"Please, just go."

She got that speculative look again.  "Are you any good at glamours.  Transformations and things?"

"What are you getting at?  That I should use a disguise to go and pick up women?"

"Why not?"

I really was getting a bit exasperated.  Why couldn't she just go?  "Because I'm not like you.  I don't go disguising myself to pick up St. Andrew's University students.  It's immoral and unethical."

Her eyes widened as if I'd slapped her and I instantly regretted my outburst.

"You pureblooded bastard!  You followed me.   Damn you."  She was up and off the bed.  Well, I had gotten what I wanted. 

"I don't go to St. Andrews to pick up men.  You must have seen me with Dirk last September.  And he's not a student, he's an adjunct Professor of Muggle Studies, wizarding division. "  Her face started to crumble into tears.  Oh no, not the waterworks.  I can't resist her when she cries.

"He was over here on sabbatical and I just went up to his apartment to say to goodbye, he was leaving to go back to his university at Toronto, and yes I did stay the night you feckin' prat.  It was none of your business."

I intercepted her before she could get to the doors.  I took her in my arms.  "I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I know I'm a rotter.  I just thought…"  She pulled back and looked up at me.

"You thought what?  The students union has a dojo run by a squib who is an old friend of mine.  I've known Sensei Travis since my profession Quidditch days when he'd help coach the Warwick Wiggles.  He lets me attend his classes for free because he knows if I don't exercise regularly my back freezes up and the nerve damage comes back.  I just use glamour so that I don't stand out too much.  You could have just asked me."

The tears are coming a bit less and I handed her my handkerchief.

"Yes, Hooch, I should have asked.  I'm sorry.  I'm a horrible, horrible person.  Let me make it up to you."

She smiled a bit through her sniffles.  "How?"

"I'll finish the back rub."

"Tell me why you followed me first."

"Because I'm an ex-Death Eater and a prat.  All right?  Mea Culpa with all sincerity.  I'm not used to trusting people enough to ask them questions straight out."

"So are you ever going to trust me?"

"I don't know.  Get back on the bed, let me finish the massage."

"I trust you."  She walked over to my bed and laid herself down."

"That's nice, Hooch.  And you're not even a Hufflepuff."

She giggled.  I worked on her lower back and she sighed softly into the pillow.  Her friendship was worth a pair of blue balls.  Within a short time her sighs deepened into a gentle, deep breathing.

"Hooch?  Hooch?"  She was asleep.

I kissed her three times, first on her forehead.  "Sleep well, Xiomara."  Then on her cheek, "Rolanda,"  and finally on her lips, "Hooch".  I threw a dark green travel rug over her.  I headed to my bathroom to take care of some urgent business.  A few heated minutes and a cold shower later, I lay down next to her and fell asleep.  Funny how I never had nightmares when I slept next to her.

AN:  I know the SS/XH ship is not a big one, so please, please read and review.  Also, I could use a beta reader, my last one was captured by orcs.   Many thanks.

  
  



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